Sbarro: A Fate Worse Than Death

I never thought I’d say this, but some pizza is just worse than no pizza at all. Like Sbarro’s for instance. Tonight I had reached desperation and was stuck in Times Square starving. I nearly considered selling the clothes on my back for a meal at Olive Garden. Then, out of nowhere, as if a mirage in the sea of mooring tourists, came a light. A light not brighter than those of the ads in Times Square, yet closer, and closer and… suddenly I found my stomach leading me inside. Excited at the concept of what pizza could mean but doubtful this pizza would deliver anything other than a tummy ache. I eyed the slices– none looked too appealing. Yet I just couldn’t turn back. I was so close to being fed. Though, could I really submit my body to this?

Well, folks. I did. And surprisingly, I lived to tell of it. It was not a tasty experience, it was not an experience I want to remember and it is not a pizza that warrants a star of flavor. But it was pizza.

Just remember though, when you find yourself in this situation. Stick it out and do not settle. Even Starbucks has better food. McDonalds even. Some pizza just isn’t worth it. Save yourself. And save the $4.99 a slice.

Jamie Miles


  1. I classify Sbarros in the same class as Dino’s (Dominos, Pizza Hut, Etc.) Pizza made for the masses. Canned mushrooms says a lot about pizza establishments. The fact that you were in midtown and couldnt find a good pizza place puzzles me and makes me question your judgment of pizza. Sorry for the negative comment, I do give you points for doing a write up on Sbarro. The next time you’re desperate and hungry in Times Square. Try the 1.00 pizza spots.

    • Hi Cisconyc, I couldn’t agree more! Trust me I wasn’t thrilled to eat Sbarro either but it was a matter of convenience and I know many people fall into this same trap so I figured writing about how terrible it really is may prevent some people from eating it. $1 slices all the way!

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