Now that introductions are over, we get to begin the fun part. Actually EATING pizza. On a scale of 1-4 slices, I will indicate each pizza’s level of tasty perfection:

Call up and order a large pizza (not to share) immediately.

May have one taste flaw, but this pizza is well worth the calories.

That’s all you’ve got? Can’t help but point out the inadequacies after every bite.

Damn, I love pizza but let’s get Mexican instead.